Choosing my engagement ring was our first experience at compromise...and probably our first alert as to how different we were. Every ring I loved, Daryl didn't. Every ring he loved I didn't. Then we found it. The perfect-we-both-loved-it ring. Not a day of those 43 years went by that I didn't love wearing that ring. Both for what it signified and for the simple fact that it made my hand look pretty.
Last Valentine's Day I took it off my left hand. It felt like I was being dishonest to wear it, and it seemed like a good day to celebrate our life well loved. It was the right thing to do. For then.
But I missed it. And, as I said, I felt exposed.
So.....I got to thinking. I read up on widow/ring rules and there aren't many. Wearing it on my right hand seemed like a good idea, but not with my wedding ring. That was sort of sacred and reserved for marriage. So....I carried it around for a while, thinking about how Al, my favorite jeweler, could make it different but the same.
My idea you can see above. I had Al disconnect the wedding band, which I set aside, and make me a Grandma Heritage Band. It has 16 leaves that match my engagement ring leaves. Each one has a diamond chip in it. One for each of the 15 grandkids, and one for any more who may join the family. I wouldn't want a kid to feel like they weren't thought about. So, the 16th leaf/diamond is for any who join us to know that Grandma thought about them even before they were born. (My original plan had him adding two leaves to the engagement ring so there would be one for each of the 8 grown up kids plus spouses, but the idea didn't work)
I love wearing it. It makes me feel protected. It says I was loved and cherished. And now, it also says that we left a legacy of amazing, wonderful kids and grandkids who add joy to my life.
Carol. Thank you for sharing this blog . It has truly touched my heart . With Richard nerve disease, CIDP which is not responding much to the IVIG treatments. I have myelofibrosis and I never thought of a possibility of him passing before me. Lately it’s been on my mind. You know God has shown us to cherish each other even more . If you have never read the poem called “The Weaver “ it speaks about what we see but more importantly what God sees. My sweet friend Daryl loved you to the moon and would be so proud of you. Thank for sharing your heart , love , love of God and how he is carrying you through this journey. You are blessed! I look forward to your next post . Thank you again sweet friend! Love ya , Jannie
ReplyDeleteI love that poem, Jannie! Praying for you guys in the midst of all this uncertainty! Blessings!
DeleteHow precious and what a thoughtful solution and closure to a legacy that is still unfolding. Thank you for blogging!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the kind words...Your name only shows as "unknown" so I don't know who you are. :-)
Delete